Baring my soul for all to see

There have been so many instances where I ended up naked accidentally.  I know you are thinking to yourself.. how is that possible?  Well you take one accident prone, clumsy, over eager me... and you end up with hundreds of possibilities! There was the time where I went to the doctors and the nurse gave me a paper gown and left.  I understood that I was to get naked and into the gown.  Boy, was I wrong.  I was only suppose to take my shirt off.  Who knew?  Case scenario numero deux, I was trying on Grad dresses in a store located in a mall.  And as with most Grad dresses, this one required no bra and quite a bit of manhandeling to get into.  A few hops later I found out that the dressing room doors are only held shut with magnets and can easily be opened by a half-dressed, tripping girl.  It was just unfortunate that the dressing rooms where next to the window out into the mall.  Being preoccupied, I've gone to the door of the gym with only a shirt on, only to realize with my hand on the door knob leading out that I have no pants on.  Lately, it seems that I can even shame myself in my own home.  I was changing for work and forgot our back alley neighbours where getting their roof fixed.  I wondered why all the noise and talking got a lot louder all of a sudden.  I didn't even realized I'd flashed them until I was standing in the shower.  That's how often I seem to do these things, it doesn't even hit me until after the fact.  
So if you see me, just make sure you are making eye contact, cause God  knows what's goin on down below.

Things I know to be true.

If you get into a line at the supermarket, every other one will go faster than the one you are in.

A dirty house brings more company.


If you run out of underwear and end up wearing a swim suit, you will have to go to the Emergency Room at some point during the day.

A penny saved is a penny less to spend on chocolate.


The washing machine will only quit working when it is full of clothes and water.

You always get your period while camping.


When you finally find a book series that you like to read, you find out the next one isn't coming out for another 2 years.  (seriously?  it's going to take 2 years to write a 200 page book?  Why can't all you authors be like Stephen King and knock them out while in the shower?)

My mother is right only 95% of the time.  The other 5% I gave her the wrong info.