It's not me... It's you :)

I recently was at a local Cafe having coffee with my best little man D.  Well, I had the coffee, he had the chocolate milk.  When I left I gave the waitress some cash and went out to buckle D into his stroller.  But then I thought... "I don't think I gave her enough money".  I ran back in and asked... "Did that cover the bill?"  And she replied with a snotty "No".  I felt awful.  I asked for the cash back and settled up with my debit card leaving a tip.  I mean for a small coffee and a chocolate milk a 6 dollar bill was kind of steep but whatever.  And the waitress was still snotty to me.  I left feeling like shit.  It took me 5 blocks and lots of inner searching to realize that I did nothing to deserve feeling that bad for.  Did I purposely try to dodge out of a bill?  No.  Was I trying to be a bitch about it?  No.  Did I deserve to be treated like crap because I made a mistake, only to return with in a minute to fix it?  No.  So, this wasn't my problem. So why did I feel so bad?  I think some of us condition ourselves into thinking that if we are upset or mad then it punishes the person who made us that way.  But unfortunately, most times they don't even realize what hell we are going through.  The upset stomach, the feeling of embarrassment and worthlessness.  Some of us are just naturally this way.  Thinking that everybody has to be our friend, that we need to leave a good impression where ever we are.  Don't complain that the food is cold.  Smile when they say it will be 20 more minutes.  Say it's o.k. when someone cuts in front of you at the grocery store.  That's how I grew up, and I'm sure I'm not alone.  But when we inadvertently make a mistake we feel soooo bad.  Why is that?  I think it's mostly a good thing.  It's that inner voice that shows us right from wrong.  And when someone makes us feel bad, we need to zen out a bit, take a breath and think about what happened.  Think about your actions and see if you've done something wrong...we need to ask ourselves... "is it my problem, or theirs?"  And for the most part, I think you'll find it's theirs.